Archive for the Uncategorized Category

New Art I’ve Been Working On

2. August 2008 by Steven.

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GAMBIT IN THE WOLVERINE MOVIE!!!!

25. July 2008 by Matt.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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FAQ: What to do if you have a demon in your home?

15. June 2008 by Matt.

Demons are funny things. Well not so much “funny.” More like terrifying. They can either be a simple angry spirit that hurls kitchen knives at you, or they can take the physical shape of some multi-tenticled hellspawn with six mouths and a mind that telepathically screams words and images capable of plunging you into a nightmare realm of torture. But whatever your class of demonic possession, this handy FAQ will help you deal with it.

Let’s get started!

I have awoken to a horrible sound coming from my living room.

You should probably go and investigate to see what is going on. Considering this is a booklet on demons, coming face-to-face with one is a startlingly possible scenario.

There seems to be some kind of…goat…in my living room, eating my throw pillows.

If it is simply a goat, consider calling animal control. Or simply shoo it out of your house and into the street where someone else will deal with it. I’m sure someone is looking for their goat.

It has six legs and a tail made purely of bone. I doubt this is a regular goat.

Then it is probably a demon. I fucking told you so. A goat is commonly associated with hell and demonic imagery. Booyah.

Should I still try to remove it myself?

Probably not. You have no idea what kind of powers this particular demon possesses. For all you know it’s a soul-eater.

A what?

A soul-eater. You know, feast on your immortal, holy vessel? If it manages to devour your soul, you’ll know nothing but suffering for all of eternity.

I’m kinda scared.

Odds are it isn’t a soul-eater. That is reserved for a higher class of demon. Usually something that looks more…demony.

I still don’t know what to do about the goat-thing.

Has it noticed you yet? If it hasn’t, try to get it’s attention. If you are lucky, it’s simply lost on our mortal plane, and will run back the festering womb from which it was spawned.

I hit it in the head with a coffee table book. It looks pissed.

Which coffee table book did you hit it with?

Seasons by Frans Heidrich.

Fuck, that book sucks. No wonder you only managed to make it angry.

I fail to see what my choice of book has to do with anything.

Look, just don’t sweat it. You have a couple of options here. On the one hand, you can try and fight it. If you are a particularly religious sort…

I’m not.

Then you might want to consider the other option of…

The goat has torn one of my kidneys out, and is eating it.

This means you have encountered a Gnuth T’kour. This is a special class of demon with a particular fondness for human organs. They are usually employed by Satan to eat the innards of the worst sinners. These organs grow back with each passing day, so the sinners are forced to have their own intestines eaten in front of them until the end of time. Legend has it that…

The goat has removed a large portion of my small intestine.

He’s already onto your gut? Man, you are fu…

The goat is devouring my liver.

Your last hope is to carve a pentagram on your chest and accept Satan as your lord and master. This might sway the Lord of Darkness into giving you a less demeaning eternity in hell. Like scooping up the fetid shit of the crucified, or waxing his evil Mercedes.

Satan drives a Mercedes?

Yes, yes he does.

I think I’m dead.

You can’t be dead if you are asking questions.

…

Now you are dead.

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KEG PARTY

24. May 2008 by Steven.

Keg Party Invitation

E-mail me at steven@woojew.com or give me a call we are trying to plan it for either this Friday or next. It’s looking like June 6th since my brother graduates on the 30. Let me know what your schedule is like for those days, I want the largest amount of people possible.

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Hey man

20. May 2008 by Roberto.

Hey man,

It’s me, Roberto. I snuck on the plane and went to Disney with Steven and Matt. We talked alot about my shitty life. Did you know, man, that I have 15 kids? Juan, Juan III, Juan III, Juan V, Emilio, Estevez, Erik, Estrada, Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria, Rico, Enrico, Rico Suave, and Esse.
Well, I have more, man, but that’s all I can remember right now.
I’m tired, man.
Time for a siesta…

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I thought I had to post while the “girls” are away to play!!!

18. May 2008 by Eric.

Ladies and Gentleman, its your favorite co-host Eric Ringel. I know that the “girls” are away playing at disney world, but I thought I would take some time to get on here and talk to my people. The “girls” are going to be so happy to share all of the great things that they did on there trip. Im just trying to make it through another day at work. I am doing inventory at a store in Weatherford. I had to be up at 5 am on sunday and 5 am tomorrow. Anyways, please email me with any questions about the show or what I may or may not do on the next episode of WooJew when they talk about this stupid fucking trip. Well anyways time to go to be for work tomorrow.

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Leaving on a jet plane

9. May 2008 by Steven.

We're Leaving BITCHES

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Really, I don’t need to explain this one.

9. May 2008 by Matt.

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Strange that they would change the cover art between X360 and PS3

6. May 2008 by Steven.

xbox 360 cover

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Show notes Episode 27

30. April 2008 by Matt.

The Final Countdown

We are just 14 days out from Walt Disney World!
Eric seems to be suddenly, and shockingly, ok with this fact.
Kristin has joined us for this show, she’s most excited about the rides at Disney.
FYI: Six Flags is teh ghay.
Slow jerking is the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.
Matt created the term “dumbfuckery” when he discovered dumbfuckery in his department at work.
Eric and Steven accuse Matt of lying about a dude with a hole in his chest.
But then they find it.
Steven never got to go as a kid…he had bathroom problems.
Royce pops in and informs us that he now lives on his own.
Royce is getting married to Gloria the weekend that Matt and Steven will be in Disney World. Suspicious, no?
You have to let nudity happen.
Fall Out Boy are all assholes, because they have a song named “Thriller” that’s NOT the Michael Jackson version.
Royce starts being very racist again. And gross.
Matt’s having issues with being Jewish. Passover didn’t go so well.
Steven confuses seders and Mantaur.

WooJew gets into a religious discussion. Jesus Christ.
Eric isn’t good with words. He would like to reneg a comment…however, he believes the word is renig…You can only assume that troubles occur.
KFC bowls are just a “failure pile in a sadness bowl.”
Eric claims that even though he is dating someone, he won’t abandon WooJew. Let’s see…
The boys talk about killing Royce. In front of Royce.
Eric chokes Royce out…again.
Matt is a fuckhead. He buys videogames and only plays them maybe once.
We’re taking the next two weeks off, but we will be back when Matt and Steven return from Walt Disney World!

Send us song suggestions, comments, ideas, etc. We will read and consider everything. We do what we do for you!

Visit http://www.kirby-author.com to download FREE copies of Steven’s novels. They are great, check them out!

You can e-mail us at eric@woojew.com, matt@woojew.comor steven@woojew.com

This week we played:

“Beat It” by Fall Out Boy featuring John Mayer
From the album, Live In Phoenix

“Meds” by Placebo featuring Alison Mosshart
From the album, Meds

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